Trauma: What a blessing
Updated: Jan 3
Most of us would not consider trauma a blessing but I do. It is the very thing that drove me to Christ! We can have many forms of trauma throughout life. What is traumatic for one person may not be so traumatic for another, or maybe you feel you have never faced anything traumatizing. A Boston University study conducted in 24 countries showed that more than 70 percent of respondents experienced a traumatic experience. For over 20 years I have dealt with one traumatic event that changed the course of my life...RAPE. If there is anything that will change a man, it is rape. Now I will not go into the details, but it happens to men too, and is very rarely talked about. Probably even less in Church or church circles. I accepted Jesus into my life over 20 years ago but accepting Him didn't fix my trauma. Having Him certainly helped but there have been many ups and downs!
Maybe your trauma is not as shocking as rape. Maybe it is rooted in mom and dad getting divorced, even though it might have been justified and necessary. Whatever it is or was, I know the enemy wants to use it to his advantage. He wants it to be our excuse for why we self-medicate on drugs and alcohol. The enemy wants to use it to shape how we think about ourselves and others. Add all this to church hurt; it is the perfect recipe to give up on Jesus and people. He wants us to quit! You might have PTSD, depression, anxiety, or some other illness because of trauma but it is not who you are. It does not define you. Please hear my heart in what I am about to say, this is just my personal experience, yours might be different. I love the church but in the short 20 years of my personal experience when it comes to relapses and mental illness the remedy has been most of the time being, I need to pray and fast harder, or it's been sit down and realize it’s your fault because of choices. Both always leave me wondering why I am not good enough for God to answer the prayer to take it away or why am I so stupid to keep falling into the same sin cycle. I don’t know why some people do a "one and done” one prayer and that person never goes back to the struggles of addiction and mental illness while others have to go through a process. However, I have learned to protect my heart from the enemy. It’s a tact to harden hearts against the church and leadership. The church and leadership only know what they know. I’m also thankful over certain seasons to have had leadership that understands these social dilemmas and has given me enough grace and mercy to grow. In my maturing through Christ, I have learned to extend grace and mercy to the church and leadership. I have seen the church start to grow in these social areas where everything can't be prayed away but more practicality is needed. I mean if a man is hungry don't just don’t pray that his hunger pains go away, give him a sandwich!
Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." David wrote this, yes King David. The term brokenhearted means " to be shattered into pieces. That's what can happen to us when trauma occurs. Especially untreated, it can cause our lives to be shattered into pieces, at least it did for me, and I was saved. It also happened to David, I mean fighting a bear and lion as a kid, that's got to be traumatic. I see a snake and freak out! Have you ever heard the phrase "hurt people, hurt people" well this was true for David? He saw a woman on a rooftop one day and the drama was soon followed by trauma. Lots of pain followed the murder, the death of a child, and much more I’m sure. However, God took all of that and used it to glorify His name, that's what he does with trauma. He glorifies His name through us. God used all the hurt of David and Bathsheba to produce wisdom on earth like none other. It was through the trauma of Bathsheba that King Solomon was birthed and as a result, we have someone that contributed to the Bible, Proverbs, Ecclesiastical, and Song of Solomon.
This is why it is so important to build your faith through your relationship with Jesus, not a church or small group. Don't get me wrong those are important to your process, they were to mine. Many times we want answers from people that we think are smart or more spiritual than us. This isn't wrong but we have to be able to hear from Him, this is the only way we can distinguish good answers from God's answers. I believe in certain seasons He directed my steps to the right counselors, and the right church and He helped to understand when to take psychotropic medication and when to stop. I know this can be controversial but not everything needs to be hyper-spiritual or is the devil's fault. Sometimes just God giving us practical wisdom and a simple solution to a complicated issue is enough. Being raped was a complicated issue but it took me a while to understand the simple solution, get help and allow Him to guide my steps. Not everything is a spirit, sometimes it's' just a cold. Get some cough medicine!
God wants to use your trauma to fulfill your destiny in Him. He wants this because it glorifies His name. What you have done or what has happened to you does not define your destiny in Him. Here are some steps that help me:
GET HELP
This can look different for each person. Because what happened to me occurred while in the Marine Corps, I had and have access to the Veterans Hospital. As a result, I have been blessed with a great mental health team. Yes, it is secular but I've learned to eat the meat and throw the bone away and at the end of the day, they are just helping me transform my mind.
LEARN TO LISTEN BY READING
My experience as a Pastor has taught me a lot of saved people can't hear from God. A study from Lifeway and Barna group showed that only around 32% of people who attend church read the Bible. It should be a 100% of people that come to church read their bible. Bible illiteracy is a real thing. Want to hear from God, read your bible.
SUBMIT TO THE PROCESS
God loves when we submit and sometimes, he uses leadership (good or bad) to help us learn submission. Keep in mind sometimes it's not the person you're submitting to it's the process but because of our pain, we just see the person and are blind to the process. Learn to submit to the process through your submission to the person.
I hope that this encourages you and reminds you are not alone in the fight. These issues are real and the emery would love for your heart to be harder. Stay in the fight and stay hungry!
-In His Grip
Gino
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